Funky Cold Medina

Cold coolin' at a bar and I'm lookin' for some action
But like Mick Jagger said "I can't get no satisfaction"
The girls are all around, but none of them want to get with me
My threds are fresh and I'm looking def, yo, what's up with L-O-C?

The girls I saw jokin' at the other end of the bar
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump when they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy: "Why you so fly?", he said: "Funky Cold Medina"

Funky Cold Medina

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass and the girls will come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap

So I gave some to my dog, when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the Wild Thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much, much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky cold Medina

You know what I'm sayin'?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

I went up to this girl, she said: "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky cold Medina
She said: "I'd like a drink" I said: "OK, I go get it"
Then a couple of sips, she sold licked her lips and I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer weiner
You must be sure that your girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

You know, ain't no playin' with a man
This is the 80's and I'm down with the ladies, you know?

Break it down

Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on the Love Connection
The audience voted and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner

She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for a weddin'
Said: "Wait, slow down, love, not so fast", says: "I'll be seein' ya"
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina

Ya know what I'm sayin'
That Medina's a monster, y'all
Funky Cold Medina