Seven Drunken Nights

As I went home on Monday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be?"

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a lovely sow
That me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled
A hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow
Sure, I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be?"

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a woolen blanket
That me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled
A hundred miles or more
But buttons on a blanket
Sure, I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe upon the chair
Where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe upon the chair
Where my old pipe should be?"

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a lovely tin-whistle
That me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled
A hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin-whistle
Sure, I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be?"

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you cannot see
They're two lovely geranium pots
Me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled
A hundred miles or more
But laces in geranium pots I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed
Where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
"Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed
Where my old head should be?"

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk
You silly old fool, still you cannot see
That's a baby boy
That me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled
A hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on
Sure, I never saw before