Simon Templer

SIMON TEMPLER
{transcribed by Adri Verhoef, 2-6-2016}

Simon Templer is so hunky
All his birds are very funky
Simon's got an hairy chest
He goes to bed without his vest

(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)
(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)

Well I think Simon's head is large
Always involved in espionage
He can't do anymore than me
Without his trick photography

(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)
(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)

Simon's got a big white car
And his bird never wears a bra
He drinks champagne from a slipper
Then he goes home with a stripper

[break]

But I think Simon's a bit of a bore
Ian Ogilvy or Podgey Moore
Simon goes out for his drinkie
Then he dances just like this-ee

Simon Templer

[break]

(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)
(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)

(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)
(Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon Templer, Simon)
Simon Templer!


TWO PINTS OF LAGER

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
I'll have two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
I'll have some pickled onions,
And a little bit of cheese, please.
Thank you.

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Eh. Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
And I've got all the right money
And all that, please.
Thank you.

Oi! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Ay! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
I've been here half hour
And I'm getting very thirsty!

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Over here!
Oi! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Why won't you serve me?

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.
Two pints of lager -
Listen, I'm getting impatient, John!

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps.
Two pints of lager and a packet offf crisps.
Two pints of lager and a packet of
(Time, gentlemen, please!)
And a packet of crisps.

Oh. Ooh.