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Once there was this kid who
Got into an accident and couldn't come to school
But when he finally came back
His hair had turned from black into bright white
He said that it was from when
The cars had smashed him so hard

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Once there was this girl who
Wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room
But when they finally made her
They saw birthmarks all over her body
She couldn't quite explain it
They'd always just been there

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But both girl and boy were glad
That one kid had it worse than that

Cause then there was this boy whose
Parents made him come directly home right after school
But when they went to their church
They shook and lurched all over the church floor
They couldn't quite explain it
They'd always just gone there

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Haaa-haaa-ha-haaa
Haaa-haaa-ha-haaa

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But both girl and boy were glad
That one kid had it worse than that